The Rain and the Umbrella
How to Manage Emotional Storms with ADHD
Loving them is your most powerful tool
Raising children is one of the most rewarding yet challenging responsibilities in life. As parents, caregivers, and educators, we play a vital role in shaping the next generation. The way we guide our children through their formative years directly impacts their emotional, social, and intellectual growth.
At the heart of raising children lies a simple yet profound truth: Children thrive in an environment filled with love, patience, and consistency. When we nurture them with understanding and provide them with a stable foundation, we equip them with the tools they need to navigate life with confidence and resilience. This blog will explore the significance of patience, learning through mistakes, social development, and the importance of stability in a child’s growth.
Children are naturally curious and full of energy, often testing the limits of our patience. However, patience is one of the most critical gifts we can offer them. When children feel heard, understood, and supported, they develop confidence and a willingness to learn.
Instead of responding with frustration when a child struggles to understand a concept, we should take a deep breath and remind ourselves that learning is a process. A child who feels rushed or pressured may develop anxiety and self-doubt, but a child who is given the time to explore and understand at their own pace will flourish. So slow down and allow children to ask questions, even if they repeat themselves. Respond to them with positive reinforcement instead of frustration when they struggle. Be Patient and show them how to handle challenges calmly. Whatever actions or behaviors you exhibit, “they will model what you do. “ Did you get that? They are going to do what you do and behave how you behave.
One of the greatest lessons a child can learn is that making mistakes is not a failure—it’s a step toward success. Mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth, but too often, children fear failure because of how it is perceived.
As parents and caregivers, we must Teach our children that mistakes are just part of the package of living and that every great success story is filled with failures and setbacks. When they see mistakes as stepping stones instead of roadblocks, they become more resilient and open to challenges. Don’t be afraid to share stories of famous people who failed before succeeding (e.g., Thomas Edison, who failed over 1,000 times before inventing the lightbulb, or Babe Ruth, who held the homerun record in his time but also held the strikeout record). Teach them to Journal (you may have to do it for them or with them when they are younger, but let them be a part of the process. Encourage them to reflect on their mistakes and discuss what they learn and how it makes them feel. Don’t punish mistakes instead, guide them toward a better solution. Yes, it sometimes involves consequences if rules are broken. But always be a teacher and a guide for them, not an enforcer to be feared. When children embrace mistakes as part of their learning journey, they develop the confidence to try new things without fear of failure
Children need consistency to feel safe and secure. When they know what to expect, they feel more confident in exploring the world around them. A stable routine provides a sense of comfort and trust, allowing children to focus on learning and growing.
Consistency applies to discipline, expectations, and daily routines. When parents and caregivers set clear and consistent boundaries, children understand what is expected of them. They feel secure in knowing that the rules don’t change based on emotions or circumstances. So, It’s important to establish daily routines, such as bedtime stories, family meals, or morning rituals. Once again, make sure you are consistent in discipline—ensure that rules are clear, fair, and enforced with love. Do it by offering emotional stability and being present and attentive to their needs. A stable and nurturing environment gives children the confidence to explore, learn, and grow.
Children are not just growing physically and intellectually; they are also developing socially. Learning how to interact with others, express emotions, and build healthy relationships is a crucial part of their development. As they grow socially, children must learn how to share, communicate, listen, and empathize with others. These skills will help them form friendships, work collaboratively, and navigate the social world with ease. (Skills they will need to become leaders).
The world is a crazy and dangerous place. So, preparing them to interact in the world is crucial. The best way children learn is by observing the adults around them. So, encourage cooperative play with siblings, friends or classmates. Teach them conflict resolution by showing them first by example by doing it yourself with respect and kindness. When children learn how to interact with others healthily and positively, they develop the social confidence needed to one day step out into the world independently.
Here’s The grand truth. At the heart of all these lessons; patience, learning from mistakes, consistency, and social development—is love. It's the most powerful thing you have to teach. A child who feels loved and supported grows into an adult who is secure, confident, and emotionally strong.
As parents, caregivers, and educators, our role is not just to teach facts but to nurture souls. When we raise children with patience and love, we give them the foundation they need to thrive, learn, and one day build a beautiful future of their own.
By embracing the journey of raising children with patience, love, and consistency, we are not just teaching them—we are giving them the best possible start in life.
As parents, caregivers, and educators, we often get caught up in the daily grind of raising children—the sleepless nights, the endless questions, the moments of frustration and joy intertwined. But in the grand scheme of things, our time with them as children is fleeting. We only get to walk closely beside them for a short season before they step into the world on their own.
Though we will always be in their lives, the time when we are their primary source of guidance, security, and love is brief. Our influence is but a moment in their lifelong journey, but what we pour into them now will echo throughout their lives.
There is an indescribable joy in watching our children grow, in seeing them take their first steps—both literally and figuratively—toward independence. Watching them succeed, overcome obstacles, and become kind, strong, and capable individuals is one of life’s greatest rewards.
And perhaps the most profound realization is this: They are the future. The way we nurture them today will shape the world of tomorrow. Every word of encouragement, every lesson in patience, every act of love plants a seed that will grow into something extraordinary.
So let’s cherish this time. Let’s be present, be patient, and be the guiding light that helps them become the best version of themselves. Because one day, they will step forward on their own, carrying with them the lessons we have taught—and that is the true legacy of parenthood.
Here are some resources I like:
“The Whole-Brain Child” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson – A book that explores how to nurture children’s developing minds with love and understanding.
Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child – Research on how stable, nurturing relationships shape a child’s brain development.
Positive Discipline by Dr. Jane Nelsen – A resource on how to guide children with kindness and firmness.
what Matters Most
Have you ever had one of those moments where your brain feels like a thunderstorm—wild, chaotic, and then suddenly lit up by a lightning bolt so bright it stops you in your tracks? If you’ve got ADHD, I’m betting you know exactly what I mean. When you’re locked in and unstoppable, those electric bursts of energy are what I call the "lightning" of ADHD. They’re thrilling, right? But they can also vanish as fast as they strike, leaving you wondering how to hold onto that magic. Well, grab a cozy spot and stick with me—today, we’re diving into Chapter 5 of Harnessing the Storm, "Lightning and the Lightning Rod," to figure out how to catch that lightning and make it work for you. Spoiler: it’s less about fighting your brain and more about working with it, and I can’t wait to share how. Let’s paint a picture: You’re sitting there, maybe avoiding something boring like folding laundry, when—ZAP!—an idea hits. It’s brilliant. You’re buzzing, diving into a project with laser focus, and you’re a force of nature “for a little while.” That’s hyper-focus, one of ADHD’s hidden gems. In Chapter 5, I liken it to lightning because it’s intense, fleeting, and downright powerful. But here’s the catch—just like a real storm, it doesn’t always stick around. One second, you’re deep in the zone, and the next, you’re distracted by a shiny object or lost in a daydream about tacos. I’ve been there more times than I can count. For years, I’d get frustrated when those bursts faded before I could finish anything. Then it hit me: that lightning isn’t a glitch—it’s a gift. We just need a way to channel it. So, how do we catch it? That’s where the "lightning rod" comes in—a tool to grab and direct that raw energy somewhere useful. Think of it like this: researchers, like those at the Cleveland Clinic, say hyper-focus happens when something grabs your interest so hard that your brain tunes out everything else (Cleveland Clinic, 2023). It’s why you might lose hours to a video game or a passion project but struggle to care about spreadsheets. In the book, I share a story about my buddy Sam, who’s got ADHD and a love for building model trains. He’d get these wild ideas for intricate designs, but they’d fizzle out fast. Then he tried what I call the "Capture and Contain" trick. Step one: capture the lightning. When inspiration hits, scribble it down—notebook, phone, napkin, whatever’s handy. Sam started sketching his train layouts the moment they sparked. Step two: contain it. Pick one tiny next step—like “Spend 20 minutes tomorrow gathering supplies”—so that burst doesn’t just drift away. Now, Sam’s got a shelf full of finished models, and he’s beaming with pride. You can do this, too, whether it’s a creative idea, a work goal, or something that just lights you up inside. Here’s the heart of it: those lightning moments aren’t just about productivity—they’re a clue to who you are. Experts like Dr. Russell Barkley point out that ADHD brains thrive on dopamine, that feel-good chemical tied to reward and motivation (Barkley, 2015). When you hyper-focus, it’s often on stuff that feeds your soul—things that excite or challenge you. For me, it’s writing—like pouring my thoughts into this post for you. What’s it for you? Maybe it’s music, fixing things, or dreaming up big ideas. That’s your lightning rod’s sweet spot. You can carve out more space for it by noticing what triggers your hyper-focus. Imagine saying, “Hey, this thing I love? I’m going to make it happen more.” That’s not just managing ADHD—that’s turning it into your superpower. And don’t worry if it feels messy at first. Hyper-focus can be a double-edged sword—amazing when it works, tricky when it doesn’t. WebMD notes that while it can lead to incredible bursts of creativity, it might also mean losing track of time or neglecting other stuff (WebMD, 2023). That’s why your lightning rod needs a little structure. Try setting a timer to keep your bursts in check, or pair them with a reward—like a snack after an hour of focus. I once got so caught up writing that I forgot to eat all day—lesson learned! Now, I set a little alarm to nudge me back to reality. It’s not about taming the storm; it’s about guiding it so you don’t burn out. So, don't let the lightning slip through your fingers next time it strikes. Catch it, channel it, and let it fuel something incredible. You’ve got a storm in you, sure—but it’s a gorgeous, powerful one. Want more ideas like this? Flip through Harnessing the Storm or swing by our crew at www.itswhatmattersmost.com. I’d love to hear what your lightning looks like—drop me a note or leave a comment. Let’s harness this storm together, okay?
Blog post covering ADHD Emotional Dysregulation with tips and strategies
Chapter 2 of Harnessing the Storm- The Wind and the Windmill: Harnessing ADHD’s Distractibility for Success
what Matters Most
Have you ever had one of those moments where your brain feels like a thunderstorm—wild, chaotic, and then suddenly lit up by a lightning bolt so bright it stops you in your tracks? If you’ve got ADHD, I’m betting you know exactly what I mean. When you’re locked in and unstoppable, those electric bursts of energy are what I call the "lightning" of ADHD. They’re thrilling, right? But they can also vanish as fast as they strike, leaving you wondering how to hold onto that magic. Well, grab a cozy spot and stick with me—today, we’re diving into Chapter 5 of Harnessing the Storm, "Lightning and the Lightning Rod," to figure out how to catch that lightning and make it work for you. Spoiler: it’s less about fighting your brain and more about working with it, and I can’t wait to share how. Let’s paint a picture: You’re sitting there, maybe avoiding something boring like folding laundry, when—ZAP!—an idea hits. It’s brilliant. You’re buzzing, diving into a project with laser focus, and you’re a force of nature “for a little while.” That’s hyper-focus, one of ADHD’s hidden gems. In Chapter 5, I liken it to lightning because it’s intense, fleeting, and downright powerful. But here’s the catch—just like a real storm, it doesn’t always stick around. One second, you’re deep in the zone, and the next, you’re distracted by a shiny object or lost in a daydream about tacos. I’ve been there more times than I can count. For years, I’d get frustrated when those bursts faded before I could finish anything. Then it hit me: that lightning isn’t a glitch—it’s a gift. We just need a way to channel it. So, how do we catch it? That’s where the "lightning rod" comes in—a tool to grab and direct that raw energy somewhere useful. Think of it like this: researchers, like those at the Cleveland Clinic, say hyper-focus happens when something grabs your interest so hard that your brain tunes out everything else (Cleveland Clinic, 2023). It’s why you might lose hours to a video game or a passion project but struggle to care about spreadsheets. In the book, I share a story about my buddy Sam, who’s got ADHD and a love for building model trains. He’d get these wild ideas for intricate designs, but they’d fizzle out fast. Then he tried what I call the "Capture and Contain" trick. Step one: capture the lightning. When inspiration hits, scribble it down—notebook, phone, napkin, whatever’s handy. Sam started sketching his train layouts the moment they sparked. Step two: contain it. Pick one tiny next step—like “Spend 20 minutes tomorrow gathering supplies”—so that burst doesn’t just drift away. Now, Sam’s got a shelf full of finished models, and he’s beaming with pride. You can do this, too, whether it’s a creative idea, a work goal, or something that just lights you up inside. Here’s the heart of it: those lightning moments aren’t just about productivity—they’re a clue to who you are. Experts like Dr. Russell Barkley point out that ADHD brains thrive on dopamine, that feel-good chemical tied to reward and motivation (Barkley, 2015). When you hyper-focus, it’s often on stuff that feeds your soul—things that excite or challenge you. For me, it’s writing—like pouring my thoughts into this post for you. What’s it for you? Maybe it’s music, fixing things, or dreaming up big ideas. That’s your lightning rod’s sweet spot. You can carve out more space for it by noticing what triggers your hyper-focus. Imagine saying, “Hey, this thing I love? I’m going to make it happen more.” That’s not just managing ADHD—that’s turning it into your superpower. And don’t worry if it feels messy at first. Hyper-focus can be a double-edged sword—amazing when it works, tricky when it doesn’t. WebMD notes that while it can lead to incredible bursts of creativity, it might also mean losing track of time or neglecting other stuff (WebMD, 2023). That’s why your lightning rod needs a little structure. Try setting a timer to keep your bursts in check, or pair them with a reward—like a snack after an hour of focus. I once got so caught up writing that I forgot to eat all day—lesson learned! Now, I set a little alarm to nudge me back to reality. It’s not about taming the storm; it’s about guiding it so you don’t burn out. So, don't let the lightning slip through your fingers next time it strikes. Catch it, channel it, and let it fuel something incredible. You’ve got a storm in you, sure—but it’s a gorgeous, powerful one. Want more ideas like this? Flip through Harnessing the Storm or swing by our crew at www.itswhatmattersmost.com. I’d love to hear what your lightning looks like—drop me a note or leave a comment. Let’s harness this storm together, okay?
Blog post covering ADHD Emotional Dysregulation with tips and strategies
Chapter 2 of Harnessing the Storm- The Wind and the Windmill: Harnessing ADHD’s Distractibility for Success