The Rain and the Umbrella
How to Manage Emotional Storms with ADHD
How to Manage Emotional Storms with ADHD
"The Rain and the Umbrella – How to Manage Emotional Storms with ADHD"
Living with ADHD can feel like standing in the middle of a sudden downpour—unexpected, overwhelming, and impossible to ignore. Imagine this: You wake up with a clear plan for the day, determined to stay on track. Then, one small comment from a colleague, an unexpected change in plans, or even a frustrating traffic jam sends a cascade of emotions flooding over you. Anger, sadness, frustration—they rush in, soaking through your carefully laid plans and leaving you drenched in feelings you didn’t anticipate. That’s what emotional dysregulation with ADHD can feel like: a storm that arrives without warning, catching you off guard and leaving you scrambling to find shelter.
But what if you could prepare for that storm? What if you had an umbrella ready to not stop the rain but shield yourself from getting drenched? Chapter 3 of my book, Harnessing the Storm: ADHD as a Success Catalyst, explores this metaphor in-depth, equating the emotional rollercoasters of ADHD to unpredictable rainstorms. The reality is that emotions are part of being human—but with ADHD, they can feel amplified, hitting harder and lasting longer. Without proper coping tools, these emotional surges can lead to impulsive decisions, regretful words, and moments where you feel completely overwhelmed. And let’s be honest—how many times have you looked back and thought, Why did I react that way? or I wish I could’ve handled that differently.
That’s where the umbrella comes in—your protective tool to weather the emotional rain. This isn’t about suppressing how you feel or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about understanding your emotional landscape, recognizing when the clouds are gathering, and having practical strategies to protect yourself when the downpour begins. It’s about embracing the fact that you will experience emotional storms—but you don’t have to be at their mercy.
Let’s look. Here are some practical tips and strategies from Chapter 3 of the book to help you navigate these emotional storms. By the end, you’ll not only gain valuable insights into managing ADHD emotions but also understand why embracing this journey can be transformative. Here’s the truth: learning to manage your emotions doesn’t just improve your mood—it enhances your relationships, boosts your confidence, and empowers you to show up as your best self, rain or shine.
🌧️ Why Emotions Feel Like a Downpour with ADHD
If you have ADHD, chances are you experience emotions more intensely than most people. What feels like a drizzle to someone else—a minor inconvenience or a piece of constructive feedback—can hit you like a torrential downpour. This isn’t about being "too sensitive" or "overreacting." It’s rooted in how the ADHD brain processes emotions. Neurological differences in brain regions like the prefrontal cortex and limbic system can make it harder to regulate emotional responses. That means your brain might skip the pause button that helps others think before reacting, jumping straight into full-blown emotional intensity.
These surges of emotion aren’t always negative. Joy, excitement, and passion can be felt just as intensely, which is one of the strengths of having ADHD. But when frustration, anger, sadness, or anxiety roll in, it can be challenging to manage the flood of feelings. One moment you’re fine, and the next, a seemingly small trigger sends you spiraling—whether that’s snapping at a loved one, making impulsive decisions, or retreating into a shell of self-doubt and shame. Over time, these emotional storms can lead to strained relationships, missed opportunities, and a lingering sense of regret.
Here’s the kicker: emotional intensity with ADHD often isn’t just about the present moment. A passing comment might remind you of a past hurt, causing the emotional weight of both situations to crash down at once. Or you might find yourself overwhelmed by future worries, compounding stress on top of anxiety. This layering effect makes the emotional rain heavier and more difficult to shake off.
Without strategies to manage these emotions, you might find yourself caught in an exhausting cycle: emotional outburst, regret, self-criticism, and then back to emotional overwhelm. It’s like standing outside in the rain, getting drenched, and then berating yourself for not having an umbrella. But what if, instead of criticizing yourself for getting wet, you focused on how to stay dry next time? That’s the goal: learning how to anticipate the weather and be ready when the clouds roll in.
🛡️ Building Your Emotional Umbrella: Practical Strategies
Here are actionable strategies from Harnessing the Storm that you can start using today:
1. Mindfulness: The Best Umbrella for Emotional Rain
Mindfulness doesn’t mean silencing your thoughts; it means acknowledging them without judgment. This creates a pause between emotion and reaction, giving you a moment to decide how to respond instead of letting emotions steer the wheel.
✅ Quick Tip: Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique:
5 things you can see 👀
4 things you can touch ✋
3 things you can hear 👂
2 things you can smell 👃
1 thing you can taste 👅
Why does this work? Because it shifts your focus away from the emotional whirlwind and into the present moment. When your mind is racing or your emotions are flaring, anchoring yourself in your senses gives you something solid to hold onto. Think of it as opening your umbrella—it doesn’t stop the rain, but it keeps you from being completely soaked.
2. Journaling: Let the Rain Out
Have you ever noticed how your emotions feel heavier when they’re swirling in your head? Journaling is like wringing out a wet towel—it releases the emotional weight you’re carrying. Writing down your thoughts externalizes them, making them easier to process.
✅ Try This: Spend 5 minutes free-writing when you’re upset. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling—this isn’t a school assignment. Just let your feelings flow onto the page. Over time, you’ll spot patterns and emotional triggers, which is the first step to managing them.
Not sure what to write? Start with prompts like:
“Right now, I feel…”
“What triggered me was…”
“I wish I could tell myself…”
Sometimes, seeing your emotions in black and white helps you realize they’re not as overwhelming as they seemed in your mind. Other times, it helps you validate your feelings and understand why they feel so intense. Either way, you gain clarity—and that’s a powerful form of self-support.
3. Emotional Check-Ins: Your Daily Weather Report
Imagine having a forecast for your emotions. Emotional check-ins help you anticipate storms and prepare accordingly. By regularly checking in with yourself, you can catch emotions before they escalate into full-blown downpours.
✅ Daily Habit: Set an alarm to pause twice a day. Ask yourself:
“What am I feeling right now?”
“What triggered this emotion?”
“How can I support myself right now?”
Even a 30-second check-in can shift the course of your day. It’s like noticing dark clouds on the horizon and deciding to grab your umbrella before you head out. Proactive, simple, and incredibly effective.
4. Create a Sensory Kit: Your Portable Shelter
Sometimes, emotions are so overwhelming that words and thoughts aren’t enough. That’s where sensory tools can help. A sensory kit engages your senses to soothe your nervous system—kind of like putting on a cozy sweater during a cold rainstorm.
✅ Sensory Kit Ideas:
Noise-canceling headphones 🎧 (for overwhelming environments)
A comforting texture (like a soft fabric or stress ball) 🧸
Calming scents (lavender essential oil or peppermint gum) 🌿
Chewy or crunchy snacks to engage your sense of taste 🍬
Keep this kit handy—in your bag, car, or desk—so you’re always prepared. When emotions hit hard, having these tools within reach can make the difference between spiraling and calming down.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Stop the Internal Rainstorm
Negative self-talk can turn a drizzle into a downpour. ADHD often comes with a lifetime of criticism—both internal and external—but you can change that narrative.
✅ Quick Affirmations:
“I’m doing the best I can.”
“It’s okay to have tough moments.”
“This feeling is temporary.”
Being kind to yourself isn’t just nice—it’s a vital tool for emotional resilience. You wouldn’t tell a friend, “You should’ve known better. What’s wrong with you?” So why say that to yourself? Offer yourself the same grace you’d extend to someone you love.
☔ Why These Strategies Matter (And Why You Should Grab the Book!)
Chapter 3 of Harnessing the Storm explores how emotions operate in the ADHD brain, offering real-life stories, practical exercises, and long-term solutions. While this blog provides a taste, the book provides the full toolkit for weathering emotional storms and even finding beauty in the rain.
Imagine no longer being caught off guard by emotional surges. Imagine having a plan when you feel overwhelmed. That’s what Harnessing the Storm is about—turning ADHD’s challenges into powerful catalysts for growth
The emotional intensity of ADHD can be challenging, but you don’t have to face the storm unprepared. Harnessing the Storm: ADHD as a Success Catalyst offers you the umbrella, the raincoat, and the tools to navigate every part of the journey.
👉 Order your copy today and start turning those emotional downpours into opportunities for growth.
Your storm isn’t something to fear—it’s something to harness. Let’s walk through the rain together. 🌦️💪
✅ Did this post resonate with you?
📚 Grab your copy of Harnessing the Storm now!
🎧 Stay tuned for the upcoming podcast series based on the book!
✨ Visit https://www.itswhatmattersmost.com/harnessingthestorm for more resources.
what Matters Most
Have you ever had one of those moments where your brain feels like a thunderstorm—wild, chaotic, and then suddenly lit up by a lightning bolt so bright it stops you in your tracks? If you’ve got ADHD, I’m betting you know exactly what I mean. When you’re locked in and unstoppable, those electric bursts of energy are what I call the "lightning" of ADHD. They’re thrilling, right? But they can also vanish as fast as they strike, leaving you wondering how to hold onto that magic. Well, grab a cozy spot and stick with me—today, we’re diving into Chapter 5 of Harnessing the Storm, "Lightning and the Lightning Rod," to figure out how to catch that lightning and make it work for you. Spoiler: it’s less about fighting your brain and more about working with it, and I can’t wait to share how. Let’s paint a picture: You’re sitting there, maybe avoiding something boring like folding laundry, when—ZAP!—an idea hits. It’s brilliant. You’re buzzing, diving into a project with laser focus, and you’re a force of nature “for a little while.” That’s hyper-focus, one of ADHD’s hidden gems. In Chapter 5, I liken it to lightning because it’s intense, fleeting, and downright powerful. But here’s the catch—just like a real storm, it doesn’t always stick around. One second, you’re deep in the zone, and the next, you’re distracted by a shiny object or lost in a daydream about tacos. I’ve been there more times than I can count. For years, I’d get frustrated when those bursts faded before I could finish anything. Then it hit me: that lightning isn’t a glitch—it’s a gift. We just need a way to channel it. So, how do we catch it? That’s where the "lightning rod" comes in—a tool to grab and direct that raw energy somewhere useful. Think of it like this: researchers, like those at the Cleveland Clinic, say hyper-focus happens when something grabs your interest so hard that your brain tunes out everything else (Cleveland Clinic, 2023). It’s why you might lose hours to a video game or a passion project but struggle to care about spreadsheets. In the book, I share a story about my buddy Sam, who’s got ADHD and a love for building model trains. He’d get these wild ideas for intricate designs, but they’d fizzle out fast. Then he tried what I call the "Capture and Contain" trick. Step one: capture the lightning. When inspiration hits, scribble it down—notebook, phone, napkin, whatever’s handy. Sam started sketching his train layouts the moment they sparked. Step two: contain it. Pick one tiny next step—like “Spend 20 minutes tomorrow gathering supplies”—so that burst doesn’t just drift away. Now, Sam’s got a shelf full of finished models, and he’s beaming with pride. You can do this, too, whether it’s a creative idea, a work goal, or something that just lights you up inside. Here’s the heart of it: those lightning moments aren’t just about productivity—they’re a clue to who you are. Experts like Dr. Russell Barkley point out that ADHD brains thrive on dopamine, that feel-good chemical tied to reward and motivation (Barkley, 2015). When you hyper-focus, it’s often on stuff that feeds your soul—things that excite or challenge you. For me, it’s writing—like pouring my thoughts into this post for you. What’s it for you? Maybe it’s music, fixing things, or dreaming up big ideas. That’s your lightning rod’s sweet spot. You can carve out more space for it by noticing what triggers your hyper-focus. Imagine saying, “Hey, this thing I love? I’m going to make it happen more.” That’s not just managing ADHD—that’s turning it into your superpower. And don’t worry if it feels messy at first. Hyper-focus can be a double-edged sword—amazing when it works, tricky when it doesn’t. WebMD notes that while it can lead to incredible bursts of creativity, it might also mean losing track of time or neglecting other stuff (WebMD, 2023). That’s why your lightning rod needs a little structure. Try setting a timer to keep your bursts in check, or pair them with a reward—like a snack after an hour of focus. I once got so caught up writing that I forgot to eat all day—lesson learned! Now, I set a little alarm to nudge me back to reality. It’s not about taming the storm; it’s about guiding it so you don’t burn out. So, don't let the lightning slip through your fingers next time it strikes. Catch it, channel it, and let it fuel something incredible. You’ve got a storm in you, sure—but it’s a gorgeous, powerful one. Want more ideas like this? Flip through Harnessing the Storm or swing by our crew at www.itswhatmattersmost.com. I’d love to hear what your lightning looks like—drop me a note or leave a comment. Let’s harness this storm together, okay?
Chapter 2 of Harnessing the Storm- The Wind and the Windmill: Harnessing ADHD’s Distractibility for Success
Loving them is your most powerful tool
what Matters Most
Have you ever had one of those moments where your brain feels like a thunderstorm—wild, chaotic, and then suddenly lit up by a lightning bolt so bright it stops you in your tracks? If you’ve got ADHD, I’m betting you know exactly what I mean. When you’re locked in and unstoppable, those electric bursts of energy are what I call the "lightning" of ADHD. They’re thrilling, right? But they can also vanish as fast as they strike, leaving you wondering how to hold onto that magic. Well, grab a cozy spot and stick with me—today, we’re diving into Chapter 5 of Harnessing the Storm, "Lightning and the Lightning Rod," to figure out how to catch that lightning and make it work for you. Spoiler: it’s less about fighting your brain and more about working with it, and I can’t wait to share how. Let’s paint a picture: You’re sitting there, maybe avoiding something boring like folding laundry, when—ZAP!—an idea hits. It’s brilliant. You’re buzzing, diving into a project with laser focus, and you’re a force of nature “for a little while.” That’s hyper-focus, one of ADHD’s hidden gems. In Chapter 5, I liken it to lightning because it’s intense, fleeting, and downright powerful. But here’s the catch—just like a real storm, it doesn’t always stick around. One second, you’re deep in the zone, and the next, you’re distracted by a shiny object or lost in a daydream about tacos. I’ve been there more times than I can count. For years, I’d get frustrated when those bursts faded before I could finish anything. Then it hit me: that lightning isn’t a glitch—it’s a gift. We just need a way to channel it. So, how do we catch it? That’s where the "lightning rod" comes in—a tool to grab and direct that raw energy somewhere useful. Think of it like this: researchers, like those at the Cleveland Clinic, say hyper-focus happens when something grabs your interest so hard that your brain tunes out everything else (Cleveland Clinic, 2023). It’s why you might lose hours to a video game or a passion project but struggle to care about spreadsheets. In the book, I share a story about my buddy Sam, who’s got ADHD and a love for building model trains. He’d get these wild ideas for intricate designs, but they’d fizzle out fast. Then he tried what I call the "Capture and Contain" trick. Step one: capture the lightning. When inspiration hits, scribble it down—notebook, phone, napkin, whatever’s handy. Sam started sketching his train layouts the moment they sparked. Step two: contain it. Pick one tiny next step—like “Spend 20 minutes tomorrow gathering supplies”—so that burst doesn’t just drift away. Now, Sam’s got a shelf full of finished models, and he’s beaming with pride. You can do this, too, whether it’s a creative idea, a work goal, or something that just lights you up inside. Here’s the heart of it: those lightning moments aren’t just about productivity—they’re a clue to who you are. Experts like Dr. Russell Barkley point out that ADHD brains thrive on dopamine, that feel-good chemical tied to reward and motivation (Barkley, 2015). When you hyper-focus, it’s often on stuff that feeds your soul—things that excite or challenge you. For me, it’s writing—like pouring my thoughts into this post for you. What’s it for you? Maybe it’s music, fixing things, or dreaming up big ideas. That’s your lightning rod’s sweet spot. You can carve out more space for it by noticing what triggers your hyper-focus. Imagine saying, “Hey, this thing I love? I’m going to make it happen more.” That’s not just managing ADHD—that’s turning it into your superpower. And don’t worry if it feels messy at first. Hyper-focus can be a double-edged sword—amazing when it works, tricky when it doesn’t. WebMD notes that while it can lead to incredible bursts of creativity, it might also mean losing track of time or neglecting other stuff (WebMD, 2023). That’s why your lightning rod needs a little structure. Try setting a timer to keep your bursts in check, or pair them with a reward—like a snack after an hour of focus. I once got so caught up writing that I forgot to eat all day—lesson learned! Now, I set a little alarm to nudge me back to reality. It’s not about taming the storm; it’s about guiding it so you don’t burn out. So, don't let the lightning slip through your fingers next time it strikes. Catch it, channel it, and let it fuel something incredible. You’ve got a storm in you, sure—but it’s a gorgeous, powerful one. Want more ideas like this? Flip through Harnessing the Storm or swing by our crew at www.itswhatmattersmost.com. I’d love to hear what your lightning looks like—drop me a note or leave a comment. Let’s harness this storm together, okay?
Chapter 2 of Harnessing the Storm- The Wind and the Windmill: Harnessing ADHD’s Distractibility for Success
Loving them is your most powerful tool